Self-esteem + Confidence
“A confident person is someone who does not indulge in self-doubt. He or she is well aware of his or her capabilities and moves forward confidently.”
– Jill Hesson, Self-Discipline
A lack of self-esteem and confidence comes from mental fixation. The way we feel influence actively the sense of joy and happiness in life. It affects the way we form relationships and show up on events, it influences career and all choices we make.
Healthy self-esteem is connected to inner belief, strength without Ego. It makes us resilient, compassionate, empathic, trustful, easy going and relaxed.
Unhealthy self-esteem shows inability to manage adversity and disappointments in life. It makes us feel insecure, doubt every choice and compare selves to others. We don’t recognize our needs and not share them with others, we make ourselves feel unworthy. Typical behaviors include people’s pleasing, manipulations, jelousy, need for control, hyper sensitivity for criticism, negative self-talk, feeling of not being enough, not trusting own decisions, not speaking the truth.
Sources of low-self esteem
First and foremost know that although you are unable to change the way you grew up – you are able to change your perception about your past experiences.
Authoritarian Parents – if you heard in your childhood that you could do better, that you are not good enough, your grades could’ve been better, you could’ve tried better etc how possibly you could’ve created a positive image of yourself? Instead of positive image you created and echo in the form of inner critic and you keep hearing it today.
Uninvolved Parents – if you grew up in the household where parents didn’t have enough time to see you, to recognize your accomplishments, to recognize your gifts, acknowledge your voice, your beauty, you will have a strong need for external validation in adult life. You might also find yourself believing that no one cares and questions the reasons why are you here.
Abuse/Bullying – if you grew up in the household with an abusive or bullying parent, sibling, or other family member, you will tend to struggle with lack of true confidence. It might show up as wearing a “strong” mask but underneath the mask, there is a child that needs love and support. The world might feel unsafe for you and you are searching for the safety first.
Trauma – any type of trauma including abuse, sexual misconduct, harassment will impact the sense of self-esteem. Child unconsciously takes responsibility for the way situations occur and might belief that it was it’s fault. A child that was traumatized will grow with strong mistrust for others and self. Might need to have a sense of strong control in adult life because in that way things can’t slip through hands.
Belief System + Shame – if you grew up with a strong religious upbringing where there was a judgement about whats considered to be good or bad it created a strong inner disapproval feeling that connects to shame and guilt. In fact the emotion of shame is very strong and connects to the feeling of fear and hopelessness. Shame might lead to depressive states and anxieties, self-destructive disorders, eating, addictions and aggressions. It might lead to adult life the feelings of being fake, anxious about starting new things, perfectionism, hiding, self-dissapointments, etc.
How Can Coaching Help?
Recognize the Signs and Root cause of low Self-esteem
Often individuals with low self-esteem don’t recognize that they are impacted by it.
First, through the awareness one can spot the behaviors that are connected to self doubt and low self-esteem.
After there is a recognition, it’s important to trace and spot the root of the program to heal it. To reprogram and shift the limiting belief into a new, positive and belief which gives confidence and inner strength.
Along the limiting beliefs one might recognize other cognitive distortions existing. Distortions are connected to perceiving situations not as they are, rather in negative way. for example black/white thinking, filtering all positive aspects of the situations, just focusing on the negatives, jumping to conclusions, which prevents from fully understanding the whole situation, catastrophizing, magnifying and minimizing, which makes the focal point of the situation different than in reality, always being right, which shows a need for control, otherwise unacceptable, labeling self and others, should’s and must thinking and more.
Techniques used in Building Self-Esteem and Confidence
It’s very important for the individual to build the awareness of the situations which trigger lower self-esteem behaviors. There are many techniques used to help building Confidence.
Your first step is to call to schedule your initial appointment.
Your initial evaluation session provides an opportunity for you to build rapport with the coach and provide important information about your goals. In addition, if you have any questions regarding services, confidentiality, and expectations, they all will be answered before the first session.
Although you can book coaching individually, most of the people are choosing the packages and membership option.
Call +1 708 436 4493 and speak to any of our office staff to learn more or schedule an appointment.
The Benefits of Building Confidence
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+1 708 436 4493