One of the most important factors influencing positive outcomes of coaching lies in relationship between coach and the client. Skillful coach who doesn’t possess empathy and capability to connect deeply with the client – might not be successful in facilitating transformation. Good, transparent, filled with trust alliance is necessary. Here are 4 elements that are necessary for amazing coaching partnership:

  • Understanding– this built on both sides, coach needs to “make sense” to the client, speak “the same language”, use the same words, mirror the client, observe verbal and non-verbal cues, use active constructive listening (ACL), enhance pride, joy and self-regard (Passmore & Oades, 2014). Coach needs to be flexible and bendable, able to start new and fresh at each moment, be “in the flow” with the client. Coach can’t judge client on what is good or wrong, or on the mistakes client made, because with the smallest judgement comes the closed and guarded heart of the client – making the coaching not effective.
  • Building strengths of the client & develop skills– coach through his listening skills as well as asking questions skills will assess client and learn about the skills that are empowering the client. During the assessment, the coach will also notice the skills that need to be developed and help in developing them. Coach will give constructive and positive feedback.
  • Teach client self-coaching – by building trust and confidence, client is encouraged to get out of the comfort zone. Coach will strengthen the positive belief of the client in achieving goals. Coach will recognize small achievements to further build confidence and self-esteem.
  • Be present for setbacks– at the beginning of the transformation, client will need a guide to be there, coach will  be present when new belief starts emerging, new habits form. Client might want to go back to the old habits, old patterns because they feel familiar – the role of the coach is to be present for those setbacks and invite the client to refocus and create strategies to help in setbacks (AIU, n.d.).

For me personally, in order to be an amazing coach for others, build high quality relationships and facilitate change, coach needs to start by building this relationship with the self. All these elements applied internally build emotional intelligence and integrity that impacts the client.


Written by: Ania Haas



AIU. (n.d.). Coaching. Coach-Client Relationships. Retrieved from

Passmore, J., & Oades, L. G. (2014). Positive Psychology Techniques – Active Constructive Responding. Coaching Psychologist10(2), 71–73

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